DEMENTOR'S KISS
A Harry Potter / Sasporilla Bucket Fan Fiction
by Darren Kelly
Ye olde Owlry Pub, Pekham - London October 23, 1981.
Riddonkulous Bucket nursed his pint of Guinness as he stared dreamily out into the night through the pubs old leaded glass windows. Smoke curled around him from the cigarette he lazily ignored in his left hand. His long thin face, standing out on his small thin frame, showed hardship and aging before its time. His hair a nest of tussled curls that looked as if it could not be tamed by any comb or hair care product. Just another lonely figure in a long forgotten pub full of old muggle drunks and bar-flies. Perhaps it was an odd place for a young man of 23 but everyone in the pub minded there own business. Riddonkulous liked that. Besides, from where he sat he had an inconspicuously clear view of a door way to an old condemned building on the poorly lit corner.
The abandoned building was more alive with activity than it should have been. No one of consequence crossed its threshold all day but the parade of lackeys, servants and hangers on suggested something was happening inside. Something concerning the rise in dark magic activity in London. Riddonkulous Bucket was only an Auror 3rd class but his instincts were always spot on. Despite the assessment of the Hogwarts teaching staff.
"A most unremarkable student", was how professor Albus Dumbledour had referred to Riddonkulous bucket in his final report card from Hogwarts. "Just enough effort to squeak by with passing grades in all subjects." It was a surprise to everyone when not only he but his best friend Nick graduated, let alone successfully joined the aurors.
Activity had slowed in the last 15 minutes. 2 men stood in front of the doorway as if guarding something or some one inside. Riddonkulous needed a better look. Downing the last of his pint he staggered away from his table and out into the Peckham night air. Riddonkulous leaned against a lamp post as if drunk. He took a long cool drag off his cigarette and mumbled the words "Retrum Tollis". The cigarette ash began to unburn. Reforming the area of cigarette that had just been smoked. Riddonkulous began to cough as the smoke, tars and impurities were sucked from his lungs. He spit a small black glob onto the pavement & he began to sing.
"Oh let the grasses grow, and the waters flow." Riddonkulous bellowed making him appear to be just another drunken muggle staggering home in the night.
With a convincing misstep the young Auror stumbled and slid down the wall of the building across from the doorway.
"And we'll give'm the slip and we'll tak a sip of the rare old mountain dew."
Signus Barlow and Jipsum Twigg, The two men Guarding the door were well known to the ministry's Dark magic division. They were low level thugs, in there black suits with shaven heads, working for a death eater named Goyle. Chances were good that with them outside, one or more wanted death eaters may be inside.
The two thugs sneered at the pathetic site of the drunk and looked away as if the sight of him might taint them with his drunkeness or worse his muggleness.
"His type will be the first to go," Barlow quipped. "When the Dark Lord rules all, ay Twiggy?"
"Ya." Twigg chortled. "First to go."
"Chippy?" A voice called from somewhere down the street. "CHIPPY???"
A young fat man with shoulder length stringy long hair rounded the corner. Riddonkulous looked up at the man with a big drunken grinn and belched. It was Nick, his partner from the ministry's auror division. He was late, as usual, but came ready to play.
"Gribbly Steward you ol' sod!" Riddonkulous hollered lifting his arms. "Give us a kiss me ol' beauty."
"Chippy!" Nick called coming over to where his friend and partner sat on the stained old sidewalk. "Yer wife 's a mess o' worry'n o'r ya."
"I don't care!" Riddonkulous shouted as Nick helped him to his feet.
"Now don' be tha way Chippy! Ya know Maggy loves ye more'n life itself!"
The 2 aurors leaned in and whispered in hushed tones.
"Any clue who's inside?" Nick said in his usual London accent.
"Goyle, Death Eater and others." Riddonkulous whispered back.
"Come on 'n Chippy." Nick said as he supported his partner. "Let's walk this'n off as we getcha home ay?"
Nick watched his last sentence float away in white mist. The night air was suddenly getting colder. The darkness getting even darker. Two distant street lights flickered out leaving the dim lamp above the door of the abandoned building the only illumination. Nick and Riddonkulous walked slowly back towards the old pub. Riddonkulous drunk act looking to be to much for the concerned friend to handle.
A dark mist formed on the street between the aurours and the thugs guarding the door. From it glided 3 figures. One dark hooded wizard followed by 2 dementors. Nick and Riddonkulous stopped and straightened drawing their wands.
Barlow and Twigg bowed their heads as they opened the doors for the dark wizard VOLDEMORT.
"Tom Riddle!" Riddonkulous Bucket yelled drawing & pointing his wand at the dark wizard who whipped around drawing his wand. "By order of the Ministry of Magic under section 412 of the magical law enforcement code I place you under arrest for murder, torture and crimes against the muggle and wizarding communities ."
The dark lord cackled at the sheer brash insolence of the young aurors. Then his face turned as sour as his dark twisted soul.
"Avada kadavra!" He yelled as a bolt of green hurled forth from the tip of his wand.
Riddonkulous pushed Nick then dove in the opposite direction as the deadly curse crashed into the wall behind them killing a spider.
"Take care of them!" Voldemort ordered as he walked into the abandoned building, the doors slamming behind him and disappearing.
Barlow and Twigg drew their wands. Nick and Riddonkulous got to their feet.
Curses and counter curses lit the night as volleys hurled from side to side. Glass blew out of old buildings and rained down on them. Wood splintered and flew like daggers up and down the street. Flame set 3 old buildings, including the Olde Owlry Pub, on fire.
Then in 2 hits Twigg went Rigid and Barrlow was transformed into a chain which entangled his comrade and bound them to a lamp post.
The dementors struck swiftly knocking Nick to the ground. He could feel the happiness being sucked from him as the dementors icy claws held him against the cobblestone.
"Expecto Patronum!" Riddonkulous cast forth a bright white patronus charm from his wand taking the form of a dog which charged the dementors driving them away from his friend. One flew off into the night while other turned and circled its way back to Riddonkulous who ran to check on his friend.
"Oy Nicky." Riddonkulous said holding up his friends head. Nick was unconscious but alive. He patted the pockets of his jacket for that bit of chocolate he kept on him for just such an emergency.
The dementor grabbed Riddonkulous by the throat and lifted him off of his feet, pinning him to the burning pub wall. The dementor leaned in its face for a kiss. As the happiness drained from Riddonkulous he could only think of having one last smoke and how mad his wife Wysteria would be if she caught him smoking.
Holding his wand between his mouth and the dementors he whispered "Retrum Tollis."
The dementor coughed. Then gasped. It began to choke as the suction reversed & all that was the dememntor began to flow out of the creature & into Riddonkulous Bucket. As the creatures grip weekend Bucket found the strength to grab on and hold tight as the dementor began to shake violently.
Nick awoke, his head aching and spinning, couldn't believe his eyes. His friend and partner, Riddonkulous Bucket the most unremarkable student, stood over the dementor sucking the life from it. Somehow he had reversed the dementor's kiss. Aurors began to apporate in staring in disbelief at the sight.
The flailing beast screamed in terror as the last of its dark soul was sucked from its body and into Riddonkulous Bucket. The aurour dropped the dementors body, now a frail husk, to the ground. Riddonkulous fought to catch his breath as Nick ran up to his side.
"That was bloody brilliant Donk." Nick said slapping his friend on the back.
Riddonkulous lurched forward coughing and spewed forth a puddle of black viscous muck. The dementors soul had been expunged from his body but Suddenly he felt so painfully cold and so despairingly empty.
Riddonkulous Bucket fell at the feet of his colleagues and did not wake. The most unremarkable pupil had performed the most remarkable feat.
Riddonkulous Bucket nursed his pint of Guinness as he stared dreamily out into the night through the pubs old leaded glass windows. Smoke curled around him from the cigarette he lazily ignored in his left hand. His long thin face, standing out on his small thin frame, showed hardship and aging before its time. His hair a nest of tussled curls that looked as if it could not be tamed by any comb or hair care product. Just another lonely figure in a long forgotten pub full of old muggle drunks and bar-flies. Perhaps it was an odd place for a young man of 23 but everyone in the pub minded there own business. Riddonkulous liked that. Besides, from where he sat he had an inconspicuously clear view of a door way to an old condemned building on the poorly lit corner.
The abandoned building was more alive with activity than it should have been. No one of consequence crossed its threshold all day but the parade of lackeys, servants and hangers on suggested something was happening inside. Something concerning the rise in dark magic activity in London. Riddonkulous Bucket was only an Auror 3rd class but his instincts were always spot on. Despite the assessment of the Hogwarts teaching staff.
"A most unremarkable student", was how professor Albus Dumbledour had referred to Riddonkulous bucket in his final report card from Hogwarts. "Just enough effort to squeak by with passing grades in all subjects." It was a surprise to everyone when not only he but his best friend Nick graduated, let alone successfully joined the aurors.
Activity had slowed in the last 15 minutes. 2 men stood in front of the doorway as if guarding something or some one inside. Riddonkulous needed a better look. Downing the last of his pint he staggered away from his table and out into the Peckham night air. Riddonkulous leaned against a lamp post as if drunk. He took a long cool drag off his cigarette and mumbled the words "Retrum Tollis". The cigarette ash began to unburn. Reforming the area of cigarette that had just been smoked. Riddonkulous began to cough as the smoke, tars and impurities were sucked from his lungs. He spit a small black glob onto the pavement & he began to sing.
"Oh let the grasses grow, and the waters flow." Riddonkulous bellowed making him appear to be just another drunken muggle staggering home in the night.
With a convincing misstep the young Auror stumbled and slid down the wall of the building across from the doorway.
"And we'll give'm the slip and we'll tak a sip of the rare old mountain dew."
Signus Barlow and Jipsum Twigg, The two men Guarding the door were well known to the ministry's Dark magic division. They were low level thugs, in there black suits with shaven heads, working for a death eater named Goyle. Chances were good that with them outside, one or more wanted death eaters may be inside.
The two thugs sneered at the pathetic site of the drunk and looked away as if the sight of him might taint them with his drunkeness or worse his muggleness.
"His type will be the first to go," Barlow quipped. "When the Dark Lord rules all, ay Twiggy?"
"Ya." Twigg chortled. "First to go."
"Chippy?" A voice called from somewhere down the street. "CHIPPY???"
A young fat man with shoulder length stringy long hair rounded the corner. Riddonkulous looked up at the man with a big drunken grinn and belched. It was Nick, his partner from the ministry's auror division. He was late, as usual, but came ready to play.
"Gribbly Steward you ol' sod!" Riddonkulous hollered lifting his arms. "Give us a kiss me ol' beauty."
"Chippy!" Nick called coming over to where his friend and partner sat on the stained old sidewalk. "Yer wife 's a mess o' worry'n o'r ya."
"I don't care!" Riddonkulous shouted as Nick helped him to his feet.
"Now don' be tha way Chippy! Ya know Maggy loves ye more'n life itself!"
The 2 aurors leaned in and whispered in hushed tones.
"Any clue who's inside?" Nick said in his usual London accent.
"Goyle, Death Eater and others." Riddonkulous whispered back.
"Come on 'n Chippy." Nick said as he supported his partner. "Let's walk this'n off as we getcha home ay?"
Nick watched his last sentence float away in white mist. The night air was suddenly getting colder. The darkness getting even darker. Two distant street lights flickered out leaving the dim lamp above the door of the abandoned building the only illumination. Nick and Riddonkulous walked slowly back towards the old pub. Riddonkulous drunk act looking to be to much for the concerned friend to handle.
A dark mist formed on the street between the aurours and the thugs guarding the door. From it glided 3 figures. One dark hooded wizard followed by 2 dementors. Nick and Riddonkulous stopped and straightened drawing their wands.
Barlow and Twigg bowed their heads as they opened the doors for the dark wizard VOLDEMORT.
"Tom Riddle!" Riddonkulous Bucket yelled drawing & pointing his wand at the dark wizard who whipped around drawing his wand. "By order of the Ministry of Magic under section 412 of the magical law enforcement code I place you under arrest for murder, torture and crimes against the muggle and wizarding communities ."
The dark lord cackled at the sheer brash insolence of the young aurors. Then his face turned as sour as his dark twisted soul.
"Avada kadavra!" He yelled as a bolt of green hurled forth from the tip of his wand.
Riddonkulous pushed Nick then dove in the opposite direction as the deadly curse crashed into the wall behind them killing a spider.
"Take care of them!" Voldemort ordered as he walked into the abandoned building, the doors slamming behind him and disappearing.
Barlow and Twigg drew their wands. Nick and Riddonkulous got to their feet.
Curses and counter curses lit the night as volleys hurled from side to side. Glass blew out of old buildings and rained down on them. Wood splintered and flew like daggers up and down the street. Flame set 3 old buildings, including the Olde Owlry Pub, on fire.
Then in 2 hits Twigg went Rigid and Barrlow was transformed into a chain which entangled his comrade and bound them to a lamp post.
The dementors struck swiftly knocking Nick to the ground. He could feel the happiness being sucked from him as the dementors icy claws held him against the cobblestone.
"Expecto Patronum!" Riddonkulous cast forth a bright white patronus charm from his wand taking the form of a dog which charged the dementors driving them away from his friend. One flew off into the night while other turned and circled its way back to Riddonkulous who ran to check on his friend.
"Oy Nicky." Riddonkulous said holding up his friends head. Nick was unconscious but alive. He patted the pockets of his jacket for that bit of chocolate he kept on him for just such an emergency.
The dementor grabbed Riddonkulous by the throat and lifted him off of his feet, pinning him to the burning pub wall. The dementor leaned in its face for a kiss. As the happiness drained from Riddonkulous he could only think of having one last smoke and how mad his wife Wysteria would be if she caught him smoking.
Holding his wand between his mouth and the dementors he whispered "Retrum Tollis."
The dementor coughed. Then gasped. It began to choke as the suction reversed & all that was the dememntor began to flow out of the creature & into Riddonkulous Bucket. As the creatures grip weekend Bucket found the strength to grab on and hold tight as the dementor began to shake violently.
Nick awoke, his head aching and spinning, couldn't believe his eyes. His friend and partner, Riddonkulous Bucket the most unremarkable student, stood over the dementor sucking the life from it. Somehow he had reversed the dementor's kiss. Aurors began to apporate in staring in disbelief at the sight.
The flailing beast screamed in terror as the last of its dark soul was sucked from its body and into Riddonkulous Bucket. The aurour dropped the dementors body, now a frail husk, to the ground. Riddonkulous fought to catch his breath as Nick ran up to his side.
"That was bloody brilliant Donk." Nick said slapping his friend on the back.
Riddonkulous lurched forward coughing and spewed forth a puddle of black viscous muck. The dementors soul had been expunged from his body but Suddenly he felt so painfully cold and so despairingly empty.
Riddonkulous Bucket fell at the feet of his colleagues and did not wake. The most unremarkable pupil had performed the most remarkable feat.
PLEASE REMEMBER
I am in no way affiliated with Warner Bros. or with J.K.Rowling. My work is purely that of fan fiction & do not ask for, nor accept money, gifts or other compensation for my work. If you really feel you must do something, research which charities J.K.Rowling donates to, then donate to them as such.